review of "Hard On/Off Hearong" by Craig Whitman

This cassette was released in celebration of Record Store Day 2011, and is a fine document of the sound of Fuck Telecorps. It features two pieces recorded both in 2011 and years previous with some post production for treatment. The cover art nicely represents the themes I will attempt to interpret for you below;

"This File Is Corrupted" begins with pensive percolations and congeals into blips with short shrieks and kissy farts. The air being let out of the squealing balloon starts the tractor and mows the synapses with dive bombers. The good sam's club banging cookware a summer evenings ritual of creaky doors and hubcaps, lapsing into a brief anti climax before the naked shower stall in the hard on/off bathtub sets the scene of a radio nestled precariously close to the shock drop while someone scrapes the egg off a plate in an hispanic kitchen of a town near you.

"Viking Fireman Inseminator"; there is nothing wrong with your tape player...maybe. Polyrhythmic polyseismic polyanthem gets the condom on/off and a clarinet squeals with erotic and implicitly trite semi poly abandon already proceeding into post orgasmic afterglow. Sex encore. The wet belly announcing the conch call of jizz jazz and orally facilitated delights. The loud climactic affirmation sees the balloon reintroduced to accompany the lewd deflowering of a peacock on a rubber matted filth floor. Applause. Balinese blues. The soulful cry; "you give to me leather, you take away my [leg?] invokes a provocative kabuki demon dance ending in a fiery and perverted sexual conquest. Elements of unsatiable lust and multiple orgasm tie this up in a well orchestrated aural theme of repeated insemination.

3 thumbs up

Craig Whitman
June 2011



one night. two amazing shows. back to back.

first this noise at The Shop:


then this synthwave at Brillobox:

this will be the Pittsburgh debut of both Black Leather Jesus and Martial Canterel.


Fuck Telecorps "Hard On/Off Hearong" cassette

a new FTCRPS cassette, entitled "Hard On/Off Hearong," was released by Mind Skull Records on Sat. Apr. 16, 2011.

Lado 1:

"This File Is Corrupted"

(recorded by Margaret Cox on Jan. 22nd 2011 during Winter Void Fest 3 The Shop in Pgh, PA with two overdubs recorded by Edgar Um Bucholtz in March 2011.)

Lado 2:

"Viking Fireman Inseminator"

(recorded Apr. 11th 2007 at Modern Formations in Pgh, PA)

Stephen Boyle - fake guitar, ring modulator, microphone, telephone
tap, tapes, percuss, junk, shirt and tie

Edgar Um Bucholtz - pigs, cdj, silence, beer bottle, pot, scrubs,
paper, cornet, radio, voice, misc. objects

Matthew Wellins - electronics, clarinet

artwork by Josh Bonnett

an edition of 75 cassettes are available only via Mind Cure Records in Pittsburgh, PA. $5/each.

email: orders@mindcurerecords.com


special thanks to Michael Seamans and Mind Cure/Dear Skull/Mind Skull Records!

Matthew Wellins, Edgar Um Bucholtz and Stephen Boyle at Winter Void Fest at The Shop on Jan. 22, 2011.


Mind Cure Records Record Store Day Release Party

this will be epic.

press release from Mind Cure:

"National Record Store Day, April 16th!

Mind Cure Records is pleased to be celebrating National Record Store Day for the very first time at our location in Polish Hill. The fun begins at 10:00am and we will be closing the doors at 7:00pm to get ready for the after party at Helter Shelter.

Mind Cure Records is putting out several releases that are exclusive to our store. Here are the details:

* Majeure - Ben Nevis B/W Jakoda - 45. (Limited edition of 150 copies only available on RSD at Mind Cure Records). Two exclusive short and sweet tracks from Majeure. Each one a simple, yet building piece of synth mastery.

* TMEye - Ecolectro Mix - Cassette. (Limited Edition of 75 copies only available on RSD at Mind Cure Records). A sampling of tracks made by TMEye specially mixed for this project from their forthcoming releases. Dreamy vocals flawlessly mixed over-top hypnotic beats with layers of analog synths create the prefect sound-scape for android dreams. Pro-made cassette manufactured and imprinted at National Audio.

* Fuck Telecorps - Hard (on/off) Hearong Cassette. (Limited Edition of 75 copies only available on RSD at Mind Cure Records). Featuring amazing full color artwork by Josh Bonnett. Pro-made cassette manufactured and imprinted at National Audio. Two live offerings from Fuck Telecorps. For these recordings Fuck Telecorps was:
o Stephen Boyle - fake guitar, ring modulator, microphone, telephone, tap, tapes, percuss, junk, shirt and tie
o Edgar Um Bucholtz - pigs, cdj, silence, beer bottle, pot, scrubs, paper, cornet, radio, voice, misc. objects
o Matthew Wellins - electronics, clarinet

* Metalian - Wasteland - LP. (Limited edition of 100 copies only available on RSD at Mind Cure Records). Blistering guitar leads, vocals that would make Rob Halford and Bruce Dickinson run to the hills, the long anticipated Wasteland LP from Montreal’s Metalian is finally receiving a limited release for record store day. Recorded in one 14 hour session with limited over-dubbing the Wasteland LP has sat, pressed, and in boxes, tied up in various delays - offers from major metal labels, artwork problems and an increasingly regulated border has kept this massive slab of NWOBHM influenced heavy metal from hitting the streets until now. This is a limited edition of 100, housed in a screen printed jacket to tide you heshers and headbangers over until the real artwork gets wrapped up. But don’t sleep on this, who knows how long that will take.

* Gangwish - Space Cace Vol. 2 - 45. (Limited edition of 400 copies). The second installment of powerhouse Sam Pace’s Gangwish “Space Case” project. Mixing live drumming with triggered samples which at times harnesses the raw energy of Einst├╝rzende Neubauten but the also warmth of current left-field electronics.

* Shep and Me - Nasturtium Inertia LP (Limited Edition of 300 copies). The long awaited vinyl pressing of Nasturtium Inertia. For those un-familiar, Shep and Me is the moniker of multi-instrumentalist Matthew Himes. On Nasturtium Inertia he continues to create hauntingly beautiful songs woven out of solo guitar and banjo fragments with ghostly vocals layered on top of electronic drones and warbles. Housed in gorgeous handmade sleeves, painstakingly assembled by Himes himself, don’t miss out on some of the most unique music to come out this year.


To show all of our amazing supporters how much we appreciate everything over the last 10 months, we will be offering 10% off all used records. To make it even better, we will be putting out hundreds of used LPs and 7”s early Saturday morning. So get here early and help us celebrate!

As mentioned earlier in this post, we will be shutting our doors at 7pm to get ready for the after party at Helter Shelter. Here’s the facebook event page link:


The party starts at 8:00pm and is 7bux. All proceeds help fund the release of local music. Come get your party on with Slices, Birth, TMEye, Gangwish and Fuck Telecorps with DJing by Philadelphyinz (Young Robots: NYC/Philly).

We’ve started a blog to keep everyone informed of all of the new releases and restocks, so be sure to keep an eye on that! Here is the web address:


We really look forward to seeing all of you on Saturday!"


Fuck Telecorps "Legendary Puce Telecrops" (2011)

Fuck Telecorps performed live at Helter Shelter in Pittsburgh on the evening of Thursday Jan. 6th, 2011.

for this occasion, Fuck Telecorps was Linda Ronstatic (home built electronics), Mortimer Grim (suspended cymbal and thundersheet) and Peter Psoriasis (somewhat broken Prophet 600, analog and digital fx, laptop, cornet.)

also performing on this night at Helter Shelter were Casual Male (of Pittsburgh), Half Nelson (of Pittsburgh), Teeny Bopper (of Far Rockaway, Queens, NY) and Tension Fields (of Far Rockaway, Queens, NY.) Teeny Bopper and Tension Fields are also members of the group, Yellow Tears.

recording by Linda Ronstatic.